Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
