you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
