Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize