you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize