Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
