You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You're my little dorito
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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