Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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