I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
