He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
