bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
