What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
