somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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