Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
