I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
