i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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