My nipple is on Facebook.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
