Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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