Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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