Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
