How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
