turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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