I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize