yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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