She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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