Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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