I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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