nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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