apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize