Are we in a gay sports bar?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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