In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
