I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
