I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
