They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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