i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
