He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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