If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
