I am puke
barbara walters just said penis...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
