my sisters under your porch take her home
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize