If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we're making bets on your personal life
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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