just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I need moral support for this bender
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
