Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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