You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
