got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
