I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
