yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Farmville is her only friend.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
