Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
