Fuck appropriateness.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
