Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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