That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
