I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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