even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
