So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
