He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You're a waste of cheezeits
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If I die, sorry about rent.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
