my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
