Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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