god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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