1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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