At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
