he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
