I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
