he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
