I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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