did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Houston, we have a blender
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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