i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
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