it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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