You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
